You might be wondering what the connection is between living consciously/mindfully, depression and anxiety?
The truth is that depression and stress related problems are both conditions that tend to control us and our mind, instead of us controlling them. We’d certainly suffer less if we knew how to control our thoughts because they can make us feel so bad and so out of control and even more depressed and anxious.
We can be left feeling at their mercy and as though we have no say as to how we feel at all. Eventually we find we are not in control of our thoughts, emotions or behavior which is not a good place to be in. It’s no wonder life can feel as though it’s spiraling out of control, because if our thoughts are not in our control, neither are our emotions and neither is our behavior. We stop being in control of the very things that would help u feel better if only we knew how to be more in control.
One of the reasons the course of depression or anxiety is as it is, is because when we are depressed or in a state of distress, we are usually not conscious enough to question the state of our thoughts. Instead we just react according to our conditioning and NAT’s. (Negative Automatic Thoughts) In a depressive episode for example when we feel extremely negative, the negative thoughts zoom in like rockets and bombard us repeating them selves over and over. Soon they become conditioned thoughts that repeat themselves continuously whether we invite them or not. We don’t even have to think about them, they just arrive without our help whether we want them or not. We assume we can’t have any control over them and that they are the masters of our mind, but assumptions aren’t facts and in this case the assumption that our thoughts have to be our master is incorrect.
This is where conscious awareness and Mindfulness steps in. It is not necessarily the case that our thoughts, feelings or behavior need to control us. They don’t need to be our masters. We can learn to be the masters or mistresses for ourselves so that we control our thoughts, emotions and behavior, they do not control us. If we can be focused enough and are conscious enough then we can control our thoughts for ourselves.
The very first step towards achieving this goal is to learn how to become more consciously aware, because with conscious awareness comes focus, awareness, and with it, it brings control for you.
You can learn to control your thoughts, feelings and behavior, but the first lesson is a lesson in conscious awareness. It is one of the “tools” to help you take back control of your thinking. Learning to be conscious will give you the opportunity to stop being controlled by conditioned negative thinking.
If you suffer from depression, anxiety, stress or any other unmanageable states, you will know that one of the debilitating symptoms is the difficulty in concentrating and focusing. If you can’t focus or concentrate, you won’t have the right tools to rid yourself of your symptoms. It is almost impossible. Think about it. If you can’t control your thoughts, you won’t be able to control your feelings or behavior for the simple reason that you are not in control. You can’t be in control of your thoughts if you are not fully conscious and mindful. Your thoughts will always control you, because you certainly won’t be in a position to control them.
If you are not consciously aware you have no way of monitoring your thought processes. If you are oblivious to the fact that negative thinking controls you, then you will have no way of dealing with it. For example, let’s say a negative thought suddenly appears: “I am a failure, I hate myself”. For whatever reason it appeared, some trigger went off and the thought was there in your head before you had the chance to think about it or stop it. At this point you don’t question whether that thought is true or not, the chances are you accept it and believe it simply because it appeared and tells you what it tells you. You will believe you are a failure unless you stop to question and test your thought, but in order to do this you will need to be conscious enough to realize you need to test and question it in the first place.
Why would anyone believe or accept negative and destructive thoughts just because they appear in our head? But it’s a fact that in a state of depression, anxiety or panic we do accept it, irrational ‘though that is… and it is irrational. After all, we’d like to think that in our lives we do actually think about whether we are thinking rationally or not.
Or maybe we are so used to these negative thoughts, we don’t even think about them or question them. Maybe they are so much a part of us we assume they are telling us the truth. They become as much a part of us as the air we breathe. So much so that we become confused with what is rational and what is not. We accept these thoughts like the good and conditioned people we are. We don’t doubt them, don’t question them, we just automatically believe them. MISTAKE!! The essential trick is to change all this.
How can we do this? We can’t change if we are not consciously aware, because we can only consciously do anything if we are actually conscious. We can do nothing if we are not conscious. Only when we are conscious do we have the ability to question, test and challenge ourselves, our thoughts, feelings and behavior. It’s simple, our conditioning and NAT’s can be toxic to us if we are dictated by them. We might be better off thinking and asking ourselves the right questions before allowing the conditioning to take us to an unwelcome place where we suffer.
What are the right questions? The first question has to be whether we were actually thinking, or reacting from our conditioning?
- Did we react consciously or unconsciously?
- Did we think or did we simply accept what came into our head?
- Did we just accept a negative thought without asking if it’s rational or not?
- Did we examine it?
- Was it a conditioned thought?
If you see that you just accepted your negative thought without thinking consciously simply because you are used to negative thoughts and because you assume they are valid thoughts then it’s time to think again.
It isn’t healthy to accept negative automatic thoughts without questioning them. If you want to stop being controlled by depression, anxiety, stress and all the negative symptoms accompanying them, you will need to learn how you can become more consciously aware and Mindful. When you do, you yourself put an end to the cycle of negative thinking and behavior that go hand in hand with your symptoms.
The modules in the self help program on Conscious awareness, conditioning and NAT’s will help you learn how to reach the point of conscious awareness you just need to follow them.
Good luck and keep working…
Carole