Conditioning and its affect’s on our lives

There are several types of conditioning. There is the Classical Conditioning which was introduced to us by Pavlov (1927) which is pure Classical conditioning that demonstrates how we can make associations through conditioning. (A baby associates breasts with food and nourishment. When it sees a breast, it thinks of food) There is also “Operant Conditioning” first introduced by the Behaviorist BF Skinner, where he describes how we can become conditioned to learn certain behaviors. These two types of conditioning can be a very positive influence on our lives because we learn about behavior, good from bad, reward and punishment. However, this is not the type of conditioning I am focusing on here or in the module on Conditioning.  Here, I am referring to the many ways we are conditioned to believe certain things about ourselves, others and the world around us. I will be explaining how this type of conditioning can be harmful to our mental and emotional well-being and isn’t always a positive influence on our lives. In fact if you suffer from depression or anxiety related problems, the type of conditioning I am referring to can have a very detrimental and harmful affect on your life.

From the moment we are born the process of conditioning begins. As we get older and gather up our life experiences, so we become more conditioned.  It happens to us unconsciously and for much of the time we don’t even realize that it’s happening. It’s so much a part of our being we simply accept what we are taught.

What does it mean to be conditioned? In relation to CBT, conscious awareness, depression, anxiety and stress related problems conditioning can be a real problem. If we are not consciously aware we won’t recognize our conditioning which often dictates how we go about our lives and react to it. The problem is that when conditioning is negative we can be affected in many negative ways that are damaging to our mental and emotional well-being. This is bad, isn’t it?

For this reason, especially if you suffer from depression or stress related problems it is important to recognize your own (negative) conditioning and rid yourself of it. The reason I am including a module on the effects of conditioning is that throughout my years of work as a psychologist I have repeatedly witnessed the problem of negative conditioning and how it affects people, especially those with psychological and emotional problems.

Negative conditioning can be partly responsible for low self esteem, mistaken beliefs about our selves, others and the world around us. It can also shape our thinking in negative ways. Because of our conditioning we might give erroneous and negative meanings to situations which then become harmful to us.

Unless we can recognize that conditioning is dictating our thinking we are likely to remain in the same (conditioned) negative state of mind, continuing to harm our well-being because conditioning leaves little space for clear, rational and conscious thinking.

Let’s say you are conditioned to believe you are worthless. You have been told these words so many times throughout your life you are conditioned to believe them. What does this do to you and how does it affect you?

If you believe you are worthless purely because you have been conditioned to believe it, this might trigger a whole set of emotional and psychological problems for you. It could lead you to have low self esteem, no self belief, feelings of worthlessness, anxiety, depression, and the belief you are not worthy of love, friendship, or relationships.

In the same way we believe NAT’s, we might also believe our conditioned thinking even though it may be erroneous.

Over the years I have seen patients who have realized they spent ninety percent of their lives reacting through their conditioning rather than consciously living and making live, active choices in their lives. Much of their living had been so unconscious and so conditioned, it has been described by them as “having been a sleep in a negative haze for years”.

This was a big alarm bell for me hearing this so many times. It seemed to me that the whole issue of conditioning needs to be addressed and resolved just as NAT’s do and Core beliefs do, so do our conditioned minds.

In trying to understand the concept of conditioning it would seem that the  active thinking process simply passes us by and although we don’t know it, we are not in control of our actions or rather “reactions” our conditioning often dictates how we will react.

This is certainly not where you want to be, especially if you suffer from depression or any sort of anxiety related problem. You will want more control over your thinking, not less. How many times a day do you allow your conditioned mind to dictate what and how you think?  The worrying thing is that more often than not you won’t be conscious enough to even realize it’s going on.

Some examples of conditioned behavior are:

  • I must be ugly because I have been told this since I was a child
  • I can’t do sums so I must be stupid. That’s what people keep telling me.
  • No other religion is as good as mine.
  • Cream cakes make you fat
  • Men who wear jewelry are gay
  • I can’t go for the job because I’m not as good as everyone else
  • No one likes overweight people
  • Blonds are all air heads
  • I’ve been depressed for so long now I will never get rid of it
  • I get so anxious at work everyone thinks I’m mad
  • I suffer from depression, I must be mad

All the above examples can be conditioned beliefs gathered up with the experience of life. As you see there are thinking errors in each statement but the problem is we rarely stop to consciously think whether what we are conditioned to believe is “fact” or just our conditioning dictating its own reality to us. We would need to test each statement to find out. None of the above statements can be cast in stone. Most are not factual because it is impossible to make generalizations that are 100% accurate. Some statements might be true for some people some of the time. For some vicious people the statements might be said for power and control purposes. For some they might be said to manipulate or put others down.

There is no shortage agenda’s amongst people and why they tell us the things they do. There is also no shortage of ways we become conditioned in this day and age. We are told something so many times we become conditioned to believe it’s true. Parents tell children “you are bad” or “you are stupid”. Children bully children into believing they are fat, ugly, worthless, dirty, and on and on. Teachers, preachers, politicians, TV, the internet, all have their part in our conditioning.

We are constantly sent a million messages about our selves, others and the world. These messages condition us because they are delivered so many times we get brainwashed into believing them. We simply become conditioned.

A problem with conditioning is that when it is negative we can be affected for life. Depending on what else is going on in our life, if we are repeatedly told we are stupid, ugly, fat or that we will never make anything of our selves, we become conditioned and believe it which can easily affect our self esteem and become damaging both psychologically and emotionally.

We can also condition ourselves to believe all sorts of negative things about ourselves, others and the world around us. When we do this we unintentionally harm ourselves. We might repeatedly tell ourselves we are fat, ugly, or that we will never stop feeling depressed or anxious. This constant stream of internal dialogue then turns into conditioned thinking which is bad for our self esteem, bad for our mood and our well-being. Yet, we have (unintentionally) done this to ourselves.

Whether we or others are responsible for conditioning our minds, the outcome can be the same. We might develop low self esteem, become anxious, depressed, have little self worth, have prejudices that are unhealthy and have many unhealthy conditioned beliefs.

If I have conditioned myself to believe I will always be depressed or anxious, what does this do to me? If I believe it and for me it’s carved in stone, I will never question it unless something happens to shake my conditioned belief. I really need to question such unhealthy, internal dialogue to test its validity, just like I need to test NAT’s. Chances are once I have thoroughly tested it I can break that belief and break that cycle of conditioning. However, I do need to be conscious enough to carry out the exercise in the first place. This is where conscious awareness that I go on about so much comes in, and this is why we need to be consciously aware, to look after our own well-being.

Changing conditioned behavior entails a shift from behaving in conditioned way to behaving in conscious ways. It means shifts in thinking where we don’t just drift into our automatic conditioned behavior but become far more focused. It’s about not reacting in robot mode, but consciously asking ourselves whether we are awake, a sleep or just reacting to our situation in conditioned way.

If we feel anxious or depressed we might be quite conditioned to believe we are stuck with it for life. We might be conditioned or have conditioned our self to believe depression has no cure or that we will always have panic attacks. Learning that our conditioned beliefs aren’t necessarily accurate and knowing we don’t need to be at their mercy can be quite a revelation that is worth aiming for.

How much does conditioning influence and dictate your life? You need to think about this vey carefully and consciously. If you believe you live a life full of conditioned behavior perhaps it’s time for change…

You can change, of that there is o doubt. You have already taken the first step. The second step is starting to put it right by delving a little deeper into your own behavior, working out how conditioned you are and then undoing as much f your conditioned behavior as possible.

Good luck

Carole