In the last blog I explained a little about the benefits of conscious awareness because if there is one helpful tool or way of being able to crack open the secret of how to overcome the symptoms of depression, anxiety or stress related problems, it is CA (as we will call it) Or at least CA used together with CBT techniques, which, when combined both become very powerful tools.
To help you overcome depression, anxiety and stress, you learn CBT techniques which teach you how to overcome your symptoms. To ensure you succeed with the CBT you use CA techniques which help you focus, concentrate, think instead of react unconsciously, and overall learn CBT very effectively. Both CBT and conscious awareness are some of the best life tools you will ever possess because both have the capacity to dramatically change the way you think, see and experience the world.
Here on the Selfhelp4u website you have the opportunity to learn both using the self-help program. You can take advantage of it by signing up and making it the first step towards getting back in control of your mind, emotions and life. (The program costs $30.00, a very modest price to pay for the possibility of better mental and emotional well-being)
Life is precious and every drop should be cherished, even when it sometimes seems a struggle. You can give your own life the meaning it deserves by using these tools & ensuring you bring about the changes that will help you have a better quality of life.
Once you become familiar with how to implement conscious awareness into your life and you are using it all the time, you can really concentrate on learning the CBT techniques to enhance and make a real difference to the way you conduct your life. Once you are consciously aware, you own the power and control to choose how to live your internal life. Meaning, you are no longer controlled by negative thinking, emotions and behaviour because you no longer allow it. You become in control and you now choose what and how you think, feel and behave. This is exactly what these two great tools give you, the ability to choose. Circumstances stop dictating life to you, instead you decide, you choose how you want your life and mind to be.
I myself use all the above as a way of life these days and know that my own quality of life and peace of mind have improved dramatically. In fact, I would never go back to living as I did before in a constant half-awake state where I seemed to be in control of very little in this mind or life of mine. (Because I wasn’t conscious enough to change) Now, it’s all very different from those days so long ago I am happy to say.
Know that I too have suffered from severe depression at certain points in my life. However, I learned how to take back control of my mind, by examining, questioning and challenging my negative thoughts and moods. I learned how I could change them by simply being consciously aware enough to look deeper and more analytically at my negative thinking. To my detriment my negative thinking patterns had silently become the very core of who I was, and that needed to change. If I wanted life to be different, I needed to take responsibility to change my ways of thinking and being. If I didn’t do it, no one else would or could, so I did.
I achieved this change by living my own (later learned) CBT techniques and learning to be consciously aware. Both became my tools for life. Conscious awareness gave me the tool to make it possible to consciously think instead of react. CBT gave me the tools to overcome my depression.
Don’t take my word for it however, because from me it becomes second hand knowledge. Once you try it and have seen the results for yourself, it becomes your own personal knowledge and experience and you’ll be so happy to have discovered it, you’ll never want to go back to those old and toxic ways and days.
I know that for so many years now I have been absolutely passionately raving about the benefits these few life changing habits can bring. Now, in this blog and in a very small way I want to demonstrate why, so you don’t just take what I’m saying at face value, rather you try it for yourself and decide.
Let me ask you a couple of questions and I ask of you to really think about your answers rather than instantly reacting. Take a moment to question yourself before you answer.
Q # 1: When you suddenly feel depressed, which of the following is your usual reaction?
a) You just react by telling yourself you will always be depressed, that nothing can change, you can’t control your depression or your negative thoughts and that it will always stay the same. You have always been depressed and you will always be because that’s the way it is and there is nothing you can do to help yourself. In fact, life sucks!!
b) You stop and don’t react as usual; you consciously think and ask yourself what can you actually do to bring about positive change to your situation? You consciously look at your negative reactions, question them, examine them and ask yourself whether you reacted as you always do, unconsciously and without thinking? You then realize you need to change all this if you really want to bring about change, so you start exploring ways that will slowly but surely successfully help you change your depressive state and give you back your control.
Q#2: Which of the three scenarios below do you relate to? And what would be your normal reaction in relation to problems within relationships?
You and your partner/friend/relative/or colleague start having an argument. The moment the other person starts talking do you?
a) Stop listening immediately and switch off, believing they are just repeating what they have said a thousand times before? (you then don’t hear it all)
b) Start having your own conversation in your own head after two seconds and so stop listening to what they are telling you because you are too busy in your own head working out an answer for yourself. (Even though you only heard the first few seconds of what they were telling you?) You don’t bother to listen to the end instead you build up a defence for yourself in your head, now oblivious of what the other person is saying.
c) Or do you stop all your own internal conversation with yourself so that you can consciously focus and listen to everything they are telling you clearly and correctly to the very end? You then reply to them.
How did you do? From my experience with my own patients who are just starting out on their own CBT/conscious awareness journey, the answer in question one would be answer a, where they would react without thinking. Being so used to allowing negative and automatic thoughts to be in control, this is what they continue to do because they are completely conditioned to do so. Once they learn not to react but to consciously think about the different possibilities open to them, only then does their thinking and behaviour shift into a more positive direction of more effective thinking. Negative and toxic thoughts that would always invade will stop once there is an awareness of just how easily they take over and take control if not stopped. To stop them of course it is necessary to be consciously aware enough to do so.
The answers to question two, well unfortunately, at the start my patients would definitely relate to the first two scenarios because again it’s all about automatic reactions instead of conscious thinking. Habit and conditioning take control making it impossible to make conscious choices. So instead of thinking: “I really need to listen and hear properly and not wonder off into my own head while the other person is talking”. They would react as they have a thousand times before by switching off and starting their own conversation in their own head which of course prevents them from listening or hearing. Unfortunately the untrained and unconscious mind doesn’t listen too well, it reacts to its conditioning and from then onwards it’s downhill all the way.
In terms of yourself, when fully conscious you will be able to stop your usual reactions and decide to change them. When you are consciously aware you have a choice, when you are not, you don’t because your conditioned mind will always take over. When you are conscious you will have the power to choose how to think, behave and how to respond. You will have the choice to listen properly and respectfully, instead of immediately resorting to your old usual reactions. Only then is it possible to make any kind of value judgment. You are intelligent right? So which way do you think is the better way to be?
Think about it…be honest with yourself and then ask yourself whether or not you could benefit from a few lessons in how to stop reacting negatively and automatically in your day to day life.
Conscious awareness is the one and only way to be in charge of your mind. It’s important for us all to be in this position for our lives generally, but when depressed, or suffering from anxiety and stress, it is even more necessary. Conscious awareness is the tool that will help you control how and what you think, rather than it controlling you. It is the tool to stop NAT’s (Negative Automatic Thoughts) from controlling your life because in a conscious state you have the ability to analyse, test and question your NAT’s in a conscious way. You will no longer be in automatic mode, obeying your NAT’s. Conscious awareness will give you back control over your mind and I imagine that this is exactly what you want.
In the next Blog I’m going to look at some of the difficulties you might experience when deciding to follow the program. I’ll show you how to help yourself overcome these difficulties, so please stay tuned.
Just to say, I know this is not an easy path to tread, but it is a worthwhile path if you want to cherish your life and learn how to get the best from it.
All food for thought!!
Carole