For some mysterious reason when we feel depressed, anxious or stressed we often believe that the thoughts we are having, especially when they are negative ones, are FACT. “I am depressed it’s all hopeless” becomes a statement of truth simply because we think it.
Actually, thoughts are no more than that, thoughts. We are at liberty to change them whenever we want to. They are not fact, not necessarily the truth, whatever the truth might be and assuming there is one. Thoughts are those things we think up in our heads, or worse still, NAT’s (Negative Automatic thoughts) that just pop into our head whenever they feel like it, interfering with our ability to think in a reasoned way.
“I am depressed it’s all hopeless”. “It is a fact and now I feel even worse which proves I am right, so what hope is there? None; I thought it, so it must be true, I wouldn’t be thinking it if it were not true”. Really? “I know there’s no way out of it, I’ve proved it so many times and that’s why I know it’s true.”
We often rely on whatever thought happens to come popping into our head at any given moment. We believe it and often act in relation to it. For example: ” If it’s all really hopeless I might as well give up now, why bother, nothing is going to change anyway, so what is the point?” By now the simple negative automatic thought: “I am depressed, it’s all hopeless” has become a full blown story with a bad ending. Each time the same situation repeats itself, so the same old story with the same bad ending repeats itself. This is all because of taking a single thought and turning it into a reality, (which it is not) instead of seeing it for what it really is, just a thought, a negative one at that. Does it have to be true? Of course not, but NAT’s have a way of convincing us that the thought is true.
Just to add that the more we reinforce a negative thought or belief, the more it will seem valid when it may not be. This is the danger.
Why would we choose to turn a thought into our own negative movie? The movie gets played in our head repeatedly and as vividly as though it were fact. The problem is that it is not fact. NAT’s suddenly become masters of our minds, not to be questioned or challenged. Instead of simply being passing thoughts that at best we owe ourselves to at least challenge before deciding on their validity, they are now the thing we believe unquestionably. We believe them and somehow believe that what they are telling us is fact.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Negative automatic thoughts are “Toxic” thoughts because we don’t bother to stop and think and check whether or not they are rational. They are called NAT’s and not “Intelligent thoughts” because they are automatic, without thought, and always portray a negative picture which is toxic to our well-being. The problem is as I said before, thoughts are only thoughts, they do not necessarily represent reality and that is why it is dangerous to accept them as reality before questioning and challenging them.
Thoughts are there for us to use, to think about, discriminate with, not in order for us to be dictated by them, or blindly accept them. They can be tools if we use them wisely, but it is important to remember what they are, thoughts, just thoughts. They may be clever, wise, dangerous, wonderful, depressive, happy, positive or negative. They can be anything and as long as they don’t dictate to us and as long as we are in control of them, and consciously aware of them, then all will be fine. The moment we are controlled and dictated by them we are in trouble.
Thoughts may be valid or not, (valid, not true) but in order to know you’d need to test them out, challenge them from every perspective possible. You’d need to do this consciously so that you know whether or not you reacted in a conditioned way without thinking or consciously. You want to know it consciously, not unconsciously. You want to differentiate between those things based on facts, and those based on assumptions or conditioning, and deal with both.
If you are depressed does it mean it’s all hopeless? No it does not. Why not? Because when you are conscious and not stuck in conditioned state of mind you are completely at liberty to change your state and situation. I don’t say this lightly, it may not be easy to change, but it certainly doesn’t mean it’s all hopeless. If you give up it might be hopeless. If you believe it is hopeless, then it will be, but what if you decide, “No, I won’t allow these thoughts to control me. There is a way and I am going to find it”. You become master or mistress, not words or thoughts…. As I say, thoughts are just thoughts. You can’t touch them, but you can change them.
Have your say and comment on this article. Your voice is important here. We are all here to learn from each other
Carole